The Love Cock as a Path of Intimacy & Enlightenment

Tantra for Couples as a Path of Conscious Intimacy

From the Love as Medicine Archives

This article shares an excerpt from my book The Heart On: Opening the Heart of Your Beloved. It reflects an earlier period of my Tantra teaching and explores sexual energy, breath, intimacy and spiritual practice within committed relationships.

My work has continued to evolve since this was written. Today, my teachings around Tantra for couples and intimacy place greater emphasis on emotional safety, nervous system regulation, consent, heart-centered connection and healthy relationship dynamics.

I am preserving this teaching as part of the larger body of work that helped shape what has now become Love as Medicine.

Sneak Peek Into Asttarte’s Book

The Heart On: Opening the Heart of Your Beloved

Through Tantra, the Breath, the Art of Listening, Submission & Dominance in Intimate Relationships — A Guide for Couples & Tantra Healers

“The Love Cock practice can at first seem like a tedious, difficult, and annoying practice, but over time with this practice, it can lead to full self-transformation, evolution as a human and with dedication over a long period of time, enlightenment.There are many teachers who have become masters, with their committed and devoted practice of tantra as the path they took to enlightenment. A couple famous ones are Babaji and Osho. Mantak Chia is also a practitioner of Taoist Tantric arts and became proficient and enlightened in his process, however, he is still living. Working with the energy to retain one’s sexual energy and pull it inside their bodies can eventually lead to transformation of the energy centers.The love cock is a practice that can lead to intimacy and enlightenment because all the blocked energy inside the male body has a chance to be released, with the heightened energy of arousal, and the peaceful energy of love, containment and acceptance, everything has a chance to let go. This is a practice not for the faint of heart. It’s not an easy practice, but well worth it.In order to sustain this practice, as a man, he must be very self-aware, conscious of his energy patterns, and his sexual energy. He must be willing to work with his own sexual energy as a tool for transformation. Only the individual has the capacity to transform himself, and how he feels inwardly when he’s alone and with others can be the direct link to his evolution. However, it’s what he does in reaction to his own energy that allows for him to expand his energy centers, his breath, his kundalini, and how he responds to his heightened sexual energy when he’s around his Beloved or loved ones.When his energy is expansive, in a heightened state of arousal is the moment he can use his energy for transformation of himself, each and every time he feels his own arousal. The expanded state of pleasure is the energy that can help him to attain an experience of full body bliss, pleasure, and orgasm when he pulls in his own energy and works with it in combination with his own pleasure. The parallel of working with two forces is where the power lies; his own pleasure, charged energy of arousal, and his own breath while squeezing in his sexual intimate muscles (anus and lingham or shaft and scrotum) at the same time, called the Kegels. The breath combined with his arousal ignites his kundalini force and allows for whatever energy and emotion trapped in his body vehicle to be released out of his energy field. There are multiple steps to this practice, and as he retains his seed, and uses his seed to grow his own kundalini, the flower inside of him grows.I am my Beloveds lover, and as I write this, I share in my experience of witnessing him go through a full body transformation of himself. Men have the ability to transform themselves just as much as women do, however, men’s struggle is learning how to work with their seed, and working with their own sexual frustrations, anger, need and other emotions that arousal is showing them. Even Enlightened gurus get arousal sometimes, but they know how to work with and channel their energy to use it for healing and good. Just because someone has achieved enlightenment doesn’t mean they no longer experience arousal, but their energy is stronger, more powerful, and they become more aware of the energy they are projecting and know how to use their energy to protect themselves, and use their energy for enlightenment rather than pleasure seeking. Many times, enlightened beings’ sexual energy is integrated within their own energy system, so they can then use their whole self to support their loved one or their clients in the assisting of helping them to transform.Often, where there is a lot of high sexual energy with a person, this is a reflection of how much trauma is trapped in their own bodies. Many times, after sexual trauma, the individual feels more sexual energy than they ever have within their own bodies. This has to do with the imbalanced chakra that had been damaged, overpowered, or violated in some way. Some people will either feel overly sexual from this, or less sexual. This would be a case of needing to heal from sexual trauma, and the love cock, being the partner of someone with this situation, could help assist his partner in their healing. {My book: Awaken to Living; Tantra for Your Whole Life talks more in depth about the chakras}.Many times, when someone feels a sexual arousal....”

Continue reading in The Heart On: Opening the Heart of Your Beloved. The book is available in digital and print editions.

Continuing the Journey

The deeper invitation within this teaching is not for one partner to become responsible for healing the other. It is for each person to develop greater awareness of their own body, energy, emotions and relational patterns—and then bring that awareness into the relationship.

When two people are willing to practice presence, communication, emotional responsibility and conscious intimacy together, relationship itself can become a profound path of growth.

My relationship with Tantra has continued to deepen and evolve since writing The Heart On. Today, I am especially interested in the meeting place between the heart, nervous system, attachment, embodiment, breath, emotional safety and conscious intimacy.

Sexual energy can be one expression of intimacy, but it is not the entirety of intimacy. The deeper work is learning how to remain connected to ourselves while opening to another person—honoring our boundaries, listening to our bodies, communicating honestly and allowing love to become a place of greater consciousness rather than self-abandonment.

This evolution is an important part of what has become Love as Medicine.

Explore More

If you are interested in developing deeper emotional connection, trust, communication and conscious intimacy within your relationship, explore Attachment & Intimacy Healing and the couples offerings available through Love as Medicine.

For couples who want to devote substantial time to their relationship, 7-hour Couples Healing & Intimacy Immersionsoffer an extended space for relational healing, communication, embodiment, breath, emotional connection and conscious intimacy.

For individualized private one-on-one holistic healing services, visit Asttarte Deva Healing Wellness Center.

With love,

Asttarte