Women have a history in their DNA of being overpowered, abused, taken advantage of, mistreated, trapped, isolated, be forced to be submissive, and even more so, tortured and treated as slaves. Now, women who grew up in the late 20th Century, are in their 20s, 30s and 40s. Our parents only did what they were told, how they were trained, and how they were treated as children. There is a very low percentage of the population where the parents of adults who are now in their 30s and 40s, actually did any therapy, recovery or healing work on themselves.
Many of these adults, as children, were also mistreated, overpowered, forced into submission without any means of communication or compromise. Often, it was their fathers who did the mistreatment to the young ladies, but sometimes it was also the mothers. It was at a time where Divorce was starting to raise in the population where women wanted to claim their independence and power. However, without any prior healing, they continued to pass down the abuse of their ancestors.
So Why Domination for Women?
Women need to reclaim their power. They need to rebalance the scales of masculine and feminine energy in the world. They grew up with an over-abundance of masculine energy, in their homes, in their schools, in the public, on television and radio, and so on. Women need love, comfort, and compassion to heal from this over-abunance of masculine energy. They need gentleness and kindness from their female companions. They need to feel love, compassion and kindness from the men in society as well. However, for them to feel in control, in power and in charge, they need to fight back, and stand up for themselves. They need to demand respect, love, and to be honored, heard, appreciated, and sometimes bowed down to from men as a whole, but in particular, from their significant other (that is if they are in an intimate relationship).
A Woman's male counterpart won't do this without being trained. As they were taught to be strong, be tough, not to cry, not to be vulnerable, and to walk around as a Warrior. (That is not always what they needed either, but we'll get to that later). In the beginning of a relationship with a woman, her partner may shower her with all kinds of affection, adoration, kindness and gentleness, but after they have been together for a while, his true colors will start to shine. As soon as he starts to change from being that sweet loving man, that is the exact moment you as a woman MUST take charge, and teach him that you will never allow him to treat you in any way other than love and kindness, honor, adoration, appreciation and respect. This is where the pattern of the relationship dynamic will start to take place. And, in order to keep the relationship strong, balanced, and filled with love, you as a Goddess, or let's say Woman, must take control. If you let him get away with changing how he treats you, and changing from kindness to cruel, or gentle to rough, appreciative to taking you for granted, affectionate to avoiding you (although this is a much bigger issue here), and respectful to laughing at you or dismissing you, then he'll always think he can be in control, and you might as well jump off a cliff because you'll feel like dying if you stay with someone like this. Trust me, it is not fun, and it will be like handing over the keys to your life if you indulge in any part of it.
So How Do you Train your Man? and become the Dominant and Empowered Woman you are meant to be?
First, you must establish that you are a leader and powerful from the beginning. Then, after the relationship has been established, you play the dance of falling in love, wooing each other over time, and then you come to a place where the energy has settled down. Once this energy has settled down, its time to establish a new rhythm. Be in charge of how you are treated by asserting your needs, wants, desires, and boundaries.
Second, you want to make sure your partner is truly in love with you in order for them to treat you the way you want to be treated. Usually this is the first step. Most often, in order for this to happen, you must wait to be intimate. Most people can't wait a year, but if you can come close to it, you are better off. I know you might be saying, forget that. There is no way I am waiting that long. However, if you truly want your man to be in love with you, you must put off sex for at least 6 months, if possible, longer. If its worth it to you, to be with someone who will treat you with the highest regard, then waiting is how you will get there. This is a conversation to discuss at greater length, however, let's stick with the theme of this article shall we.
You make the rules. You decide what you want, and if he follows court, you're in.
You decide what spiritual practices to do together (if you are on this site I hope you are someone who is spiritual, but if not, that's ok too). You decide what places to go to; restaurants, fun places to go, what movies to watch, when you want a massage, when YOU are ready for the first kiss, when you can get closer, and so on. If he he breaks the rules and forces you to be intimate before you are ready, Game Over. Then he's not the one, because he's showing you he doesn't respect you. However, if you give in, then you're showing him you're the submissive, or perhaps there's a deeper issue going on such as love/sex addiction. That's a big problem in our society not spoken a lot about. We will address this area here also.
What if You as a Woman are not Ready to be Dominant?
If you are not ready to be dominant, be in charge of your relationship, the decisions you make, and know what you want, and the lifestyle you want to live, being in a relationship right now might not be a good idea. However, there is always growth in being in a relationship, but being in a powerful and long lasting one, may not happen right now. And I am here to teach you how to have a long lasting and powerful relationship. If you are working on your Mother or Father wound, and are looking for approval, or security, commitment, or to know that you are worthy of love, it may be best to work with a therapist. However, you can work through these things in a relationship. It's just not easy, and you want to make sure your partner is going to stay by your side to help you through these issues. You first want to establish your love together before you can get to these core issues. So, even if you think you can't be Dominant, you can still try. As they say, practice and play the role "As If", and eventually it will become a reality. So, be an Actress, and pretend that you are Dominant. Give it a try. You might even surprise yourself. If this is too hard, maybe right now being Submissive is what you need. That's ok too. But eventually, you will be tired of it, and need to walk away. If you grew up in a healthy upbringing and background, all of this might be ridiculous to you. You may just prefer the middle ground, and find someone who is your equal match. Not all of us were so lucky, so we have to play our cards a little differently.
If you are a woman like me, who grew up with overpowering and overbearing parents, coming to the conclusion that being the Dominant will be your greatest teacher and your greatest reward!