From Root to Heart
After working as a practitioner from 1997 to 2017, I learned that most practitioners in the healing arts usually practice leading their sessions based on their own experience. I was taking my trainings in spiritual and sexual healing and bringing it to my healing sessions. Many adepts and leaders become Master of Working with sexual energy, however, most don't know about healing their own sexual energy. They continue to live in the bliss of the high of kundalini energy without releasing their own emotions that caused them to get into that field in the first place. There are many Tantra Schools now that train individuals to work with the energy, however, the true healing comes when they heal their own emotional, energetic and sexual entanglements that inspired them to seek this field from the beginning.
How does one start to work on addressing the emotions trapped in their root chakra, for example? First, they try to seek out any practitioner that will help them feel the bliss that the kundalini arises. They will go to any means to continue to feel this bliss. Often, if not all, individuals, even the practitioners, will stay in this base center. They don't know any other energy of bliss that is possible. They want to continue to feel the bliss. This is where the ego gets involved. It doesn't become a healing experience, but a bliss experience. They reject all other potential means of achieving bliss. They only know sex, and that sexual high is all they know of; that is the only thing that exists to them. However, my dear readers, there are more energy centers in your being. There are more ways of achieving bliss, and more practices for releasing emotions that cause the frustration, and discomfort of holding the energy in. They only know of releasing the kundalini out of their root center; in other words, their sex center.
After going through many multiple years of living in my tantric bliss state, and using breathing practices, yoga practices, energy practices, and emotional release practices that engage the kundalini from the root, I learned that this practice is what addiction is, and why so many don't know that achieving a state of love from their whole self is possible. Almost four years ago, I worked with a client that understood that living solely out of the root was limiting to their growth. We practiced pulling the sexual energy of bliss up to their heart or other areas that were in need. For example, a feeling of abandonment that was trapped in the heart from not being held or comforted from their mother at a young age, and a deep feeling of loneliness that was leading their sexual needs. Once we started working on the kundalini that was leading their sexual drive, we were able to slowly open some of the other energy centers that had these other deep-seated needs trapped within them. It turned into an 9-month training and healing process, that not only healed them, but also myself. We then worked on breathing practices that eventually broke open their veil of armor that kept them in sexual frustration. This then led to sexual empowerment, awakening and nirvana where they had the ability to control how they would feel on a day to day basis.
Some questions to consider that you may be living out of your sex center and caught in a web of frustration never breaking free.
How do you go from living in your root chakra to your heart chakra?
How do you know you are living in your root chakra?
What is your dominant focus of energy and where do you get your energy and your source of power?
What is the sensation you get after getting close to someone and a few weeks or months has gone by? Do you desperately crave more love, or do you desperately run away from it? Are you highly cautious and protect yourself, or do you dive in right away?
Is it Worth the Pain and Suffering to Develop a Deep Relationship and stay with the same person to heal the root chakra and bring it to the heart?
If people become self-aware of their childhood traumas, they can actually heal their childhood traumas and be happy. If they become aware of their patterns from their past and transform this in the present, they can be happy no matter who they are with. To me, that's worth going through the pain, discomfort and shadow parts of oneself to get to the light, the joy, the security, the bliss and the love.
How do you go from living in your root chakra to your heart chakra?
This is part of what my work is now about, educating, teaching, inspiring and helping couples and individuals break free from the trap of living in their root chakra. Tantra practices is definitely a part of this work, but my form of tantra is much different than what the popular polyamory communities, sex industry and erotic industries have made the public believe. True Tantra helps people to harness their kundalini to release the energetic blocks along their spinal column where emotions trapped in each energy center lay dormant until they do spiritual practices, healing practices, therapy and transformation work to awaken them. It takes not only months, but years to move from one chakra to another, and in particular ones’ root to ones’ heart. Most people spend their entire lives maintaining their focus on one chakra. Ascending from one chakra to another in one lifetime takes a huge commitment, dedication, transformation and personal discovery.
Most people live in their lower chakras, especially where trauma and abuse is concerned. They may have started in higher chakras, but a traumatic event or events shifted their energy. Or perhaps they were born into a high chakra but chose to stay there, never considering other possibilities of transformation. So, their root then stayed suppressed or blocked their whole lives. Some people are born being gurus, saints, and enlightened beings and don't need to do a lot of work to achieve enlightenment, except a committed meditation practice of 15 to 20 years. They perhaps had achieved ascension in a previous lifetime, and when they came back again, their karma of taking on new trauma, suffering or turmoil was gone. So, they then became enlightened quickly. And, others like myself, had to work their whole lives to heal from their past lives, and many traumas from this lifetime, and by the time they come to near the end of their lives they then achieve ascension and enlightenment, and have much to teach others. We all come in with different energies activated, healed, and cleared, and we all have different lessons to learn and grow from, but in the end, I believe we are all each other’s teachers.
How do you know you are living in your root chakra?
If you are living in your root chakra, you may crave sexual intimacy all the time. You may crave sex all the time. You may even think you are craving love all the time, but sex always ends up becoming a part of it. You may seek out dates, but can't wait more than one date, or even past a month of dating and must get closer and fulfill that sexual craving and longing for arousal and desire. Your main focus is desire, passion, and orgasm. You may be lying to yourself and telling yourself you crave love, but if you look back to your life experiences, they all point to sexual cravings in the end. All your pursuits for love all ended up in an expectation of intimacy, arousal or orgasm. And you may have blamed the person you were dating for not getting your needs met and were frustrated thinking they were at fault for not being fulfilled or perhaps blaming them for even being in the way of not getting your orgasmic needs met. Or perhaps the relationship ended, and you still blamed them. In the end, you blamed them for not feeling fulfilled. And achieving pleasure was all that mattered to you. The actual person, their feelings, or feeling connected to them from your heart wasn't important to you. Feeling someone's heart or your own heart isn't something you ever considered before or didn't think was possible. And perhaps, you've been so hurt in the past, you decided you'd never truly be open to love or seek love ever again. So, the end result is sex.
What is your dominant focus of energy and where do you get your energy and your source of power? Are you sexually frustrated all the time? Do you get angry when you are unable to release your pent-up energy? Do you seek others to help you from this dilemma? Do you blame them when you experience anger from this? Or more frustration?
Remember, it is no one's responsibility to take care of someone else's orgasm. Their frustration comes from a deep inner wound that has nothing to do with the person in front of them. It shows up as sex addiction as an adult, but the source is emotional pain as a young child or infant. No man or woman can release someone else's orgasm without taking on their karma. Whoever you allow to release you, also ends up being someone you become dependent on, and is best to be someone you deeply trust, or are in a committed relationship with. Over time, this person can become your greatest source of growth and personal development, if both individuals are mature and responsible enough to handle the emotions, triggers and issues that come up. (That is a topic for later discussion). Also, the idea of the orgasm becomes more important than the relationship to the person that is causing the energy raising and sensation of kundalini rising. Releasing this pent-up energy without addressing the emotional needs and feelings underneath this craving ends up backfiring and causing one to crave the sensation more than the love that they needed so long ago. Growth doesn't happen. All that happens is a constant need for the release; just like a drug addict wanting that next hit or that next line. The same occurs for those seeking pleasure. The craving never ends.
Over time, when you can use the kundalini energy as a tool for growth but learn to control your orgasm and harness the energy throughout your body, this will ultimately lead to your spiritual awakening and ascension.
Are you sexually frustrated all the time?
If you are sexually frustrated all the time, it is a sign of your kundalini being activated and needing to release deep seated emotions that had been trapped in your root chakra. Often teens start feeling this sensation and it is overwhelming to them and that is where their frustration comes from. When they move into their 20s, it is still overwhelming. By the time they get into their 30s, the energy is still high, but by their late 30s it starts to settle down. However, sexual trauma can cause the energy to be even higher as the trauma brings in more energy to be released. If one had been abstinent during those years, a virgin, or held in their energy to wait, this will also cause their need to be higher once they finally start to open the floodgates of energy.
If someone has a lot of unprocessed anger from childhood, it will start coming up in their later years. Many people redirect their anger towards a sexual outlet without getting to the source of the emotion. Deeply seated emotions that are unprocessed can take a long time to heal and need support from a professional to help these emotions to be processed. Without support from a professional or joining a support group for help, most people will gravitate towards any sexual activity to help them put their focus on their orgasm, instead of the unresolved emotions trapped inside themselves. Relationships can be harmed, marriages, friendships, work, ones’ career and even their health can be put in jeopardy.
Do you get angry when you are unable to release your pent-up energy?
Anger is a normal emotion when one is unaware of how to deal with their current sexual frustration. This is the first stage of processing the sexual energy, i.e. kundalini and root chakra energy. However, anger is a third chakra issue, and the root chakra deals with security and safety in the world. If someone does not feel secure, and they have unresolved anger from their past, it may often show up as sexual frustration, and feel like it is purely sexual. Energy interpretation can be confusing when you’re in the moment and feeling your body and your emotions. Often the lack of feeling secure as a child, and sexual frustration go hand in hand. Until you process your core abandonment, feelings of neglect, rejection, and feeling alone as a young one, sexual frustration will be the emotional energy that covers up these unresolved feelings.
Some people direct their anger towards others, and some people direct the anger inward towards themselves. When you direct your anger towards others, it creates a blaming dynamic that can make others feel either the need to be in a caretaking role, or an energy of obligation that makes them uncomfortable. This can come across as force and control, vs love and peace. Taking responsibility for ones’ own anger is very important so the energy between two people is balanced with love, harmony and ease. However, when you’re in the thick of these emotions, it’s hard to know this is the energy you are putting out towards others. Directing undeserved anger towards others can cause resentment between two people, and a separation where only acceptance, love and forgiveness will heal. It can create a discord where relationships eventually will sever. However, once the individual directing the anger in this way starts to take responsibility for his own feelings, forgiveness eventually can happen. This is when the healing begins.
For others that direct their anger inwards towards themselves, they sometimes get sick with a major illness before realizing what they are doing. It can sometimes take a long time before recognizing how they are hurting themselves, but once they do, they can move towards the path of health and wellbeing. Sometimes self-directed anger can show up as depression and therapy is an excellent resource for this. The real person they are angry at may be their first caretaker, a childhood friend, another family member, or themselves. But once they figure out who they are angry at, and start to take responsibility for how they are feeling by letting themselves truly feel what they are feeling, the anger will start to come out, and they will then stop hurting themselves, and perhaps those that love them - watching and witnessing what they are going through. For those that direct anger inwards, they still do end up hurting those in their lives because of the separation they create between them and others, and because of the suffering others have to watch them go through. Self-directed anger may not be as direct and harsh as those who blame other people for their anger, however, they are still affecting the people who love them. Sometimes, when the people who love them have high integrity with themselves, are healthier in mind and body, they have to choose to distance themselves from them, and this alone can be hurtful, because a relationship will then have to change forms, or be cut off all together.
Do you seek others to help you from this dilemma? Do you look to others to process your anger? Most people in our society do. Especially when the individual is not in recovery, not on medication, not doing any personal growth work, maybe not even seeing a therapist or counselor, or in general doesn’t know what it means to take personal responsibility for one’s own feelings. But even if you are doing recovery work, you do see a therapist, you are on medication, and perhaps you’re even doing personal growth work, one can easily still find themselves looking to others to help them process their feelings, especially when it comes to sexual frustration or behaviors of acting out such as sex addiction. Getting to the root of one’s real feelings when they’ve spent most of their life being sexually active (or over-active in the case of sex addiction) can be easily confused with pushing their feelings down. It’s a similar comparison to those who partake in excessive amounts of drugs (even pharmaceutical drugs). When they’re used to taking drugs (illegal or abusing pharmaceutical drugs), often feelings get dismissed, repressed, hidden, and forgotten. The true emotions underneath one’s behavior is interpreted as something else. And the individual never gets to heal their true heart and what’s really going on. This can often go on for an entire lifetime, and sadly, some people can be so sick from this (mentally or physically) that their health takes them. We all hope our loved ones don’t suffer to these extremes and lose their life out of lack of getting to the root of these issues, but I know this happens much more often than we like to admit.
I personally have lost two of my childhood best friends because of this illness, so I know this does occur much more than we want. And, we certainly can’t convince people to want to heal. But, for the rare few that do want to heal, it is a blessing and a gift for everyone when they can finally help themselves.
Do you blame them when you experience anger from this? In other words, do you blame others when you experience sexual frustration and get angry at them for not helping you resolve the frustration? As much as people don’t like to admit, blaming others is at the root of not resolving one’s own inner demons, one’s own inner turmoil, and healing at the core of their soul. Blaming others is what causes relationships to fail, and it ends up hurting yourself more than anyone else. You get the benefit of remaining constantly single or going from one short term relationship to the next, and never any real depth or love, or intimacy with another human being. Many will deny that they blame others, but how does your life show up? What is your current relationship like? Are you constantly going from one relationship to the next? Do you want each partner you hook up with to be the all one miracle and lover that makes all your pain go away, tells you that you’re perfect and you never do anything wrong, and treat you with unconditional love as a child receiving love from a mother or father? This my dears, is not realistic, and is why blaming others is not the answer. However, taking personal responsibility for how you’re being, doing, acting and speaking is the only way to heal, and the only way to find true love.
Do you blame others when you experience frustration in yourself? In other words, do you blame them when you experience frustration and put the responsibility on them and make them or want them to help you? It’s a normal reaction to want your partner or someone you’re dating to help you with your sexual frustration. Most people rely on their primary partner to hold this space for you and be the one person to give to you the energy you’re craving the most. However, when it becomes a habit, and you have anger, or blame about it, and create an upset in yourself, this then has an impact on your partner. If you’re blaming them, feeling upset in yourself, and this causes friction in your relationship, a means for argument, or you shut down altogether and withdraw from them because of your frustration, this shows where your healing is needed. It’s never your partners fault that you have frustration in yourself. The frustration in yourself is already there. You’re partner actually just became the catalyst for bringing it to the surface. Perhaps you broke up with your partner because of this frustration, and your need for pleasure, orgasm, or release was higher than he or she could give you. You may have walked away from someone who really cared about you, and may have become your best friend, your personal healer and a huge opportunity for growth because of your frustration. It’s always best to get to the source of your frustration than to walk away from someone who cares about you. However, your internal anger may be too strong. Perhaps you were afraid to reveal your true vulnerability with her/him and being that vulnerable feels too intimate. So, as a result you walked away from this person. And, perhaps you moved on to a new person. However, the cycle then repeated itself, and you continue to run into the same pattern and never got to an answer or the solution. Your heart never healed, and you just expect that no one will love you, and assume you are unlovable and just have to have short term relationships or relationships with no depth. This doesn’t have to be the answer. You CAN actually have real love, and you can heal the source of this pain, this discomfort, this frustration, however, you have to be willing to tell the truth on yourself to your partner; whoever it is. This is when healing begins. Honesty, and truth do help you get to the other side, and one day you may actually realize you are lovable. You do deserve to be loved, and you don’t have to live in a world where you constantly feel frustrated or angry if you’re not getting your needs met all the time. However, it takes inner reflection, patience, self-love, and acceptance of your situation.
As a practicing Dakini since 2005, I learned the long and hard way that I was keeping people in that pattern, the pattern of continuing to crave more arousal, the need to have a release, when this only set them up to seek more pleasure and never healing their heart or having true love. Now, I know better. And I am grateful I did the work so I now can show others what’s possible, and a way for them too to find true love, within themselves and with others.
What is the sensation you get after getting close to someone and a few weeks or months has gone by? Do you desperately crave more love, or do you desperately run away from it? Seeking more love stems from a feeling of abandonment as a young child or infant and will not heal except in a deep committed relationship. When the person you have put your focus and attention on decided to pull back from this behavior, you may feel the connection to the deep pain you had as a young child and even as far back as when you were a baby. There is no way to truly heal this deep longing except inside a long-term relationship. It will continue to repeat itself again and again as you run after a new partner that is afraid to commit and runs away from you longing them.
Often, seeking more love initially shows up as seeking more orgasms. One orgasm is not enough, and you may go from longing for one, to two, to three, four, and eventually it’s never enough. The true energy the person is seeking is love. However, when they are chasing the orgasm, they are blind to this. They don't know the longing of pleasure stems from a longing of the bliss of love. They forget. This is a longing they had before they had words to express as a young infant and didn't know how to express their feelings. However, their body has a memory and it shows up in adults in intimate encounters and intimate relationships. The body memory never goes away. However, all they can see is the present and the longing for pleasure. Having an understanding beyond this isn't something they have ever learned or been trained. No one taught them this. This is not something taught in tantra schools, or even in spiritual training. It is only something one knows after going through the experience and healing it themselves.
Desperately Running Away from Love
If you desperately run away from love as soon as you start to feel it, you may have had the experience of being smothered by your original caretakers. You may have felt their love so profoundly, but didn't experience the freedom to explore, roam or be yourself. This can create a longing for freedom as an adult when you’re in a relationship. Again, the healing doesn't happen except inside a long-term relationship. You can certainly try to heal it being a single person, going from one relationship to the next, but it will never heal at its core. You will continue to live out your long existence thinking that you are not wired for love, and that you are destined to be single and alone. This is not true, but it’s what you think is true because of the pain you experience when love is staring right in front of you. It is too painful because of the pain from your very younger self.
Are you highly cautious and protect yourself, or do you dive in right away?
Being highly cautious when it comes to love is helpful when first meeting someone and deciding if they are a good fit for you, however, after the initial decision that you’d like to continue seeing them, do you still practice caution and keep yourself at arm’s length? A little caution is healthy, but when you do it to extremes it can block your ability to give or receive love. On the opposite end, if you dive in right away without any caution, you could be diving into something for the wrong reasons, or craving attention just for the sake of craving attention and it could end in disaster. These are also signs of imbalance and an addictive or avoidant sexual pattern that stems from leading from the root chakra as well.
Here is some writing from this advanced and very powerful being, now my Beloved, writing from my eyes:
"Most trained Dakinis will study with Master’s such as Baba Dez at the School of Temple Arts. These masters will teach you how to make money and massage the human beings sex center - the root chakra. This technique works well for the healer as they can make tons of money helping the client create the illusion of being healed.
How can a Dakini help heal a person if they are actually living in their sex center? Most Dakinis come from very abusive mother childhood relationships and their entire lives had multiple dark relationships living from their sex centers. Also chasing love in all the wrong places especially in their significant relationships. So, for over 2 Decades in the healing world the Dakini develops multiple modalities beside sex work, but in the end, sex sells. If the Dakini doesn't have this self-awareness about themselves, it’s almost impossible to help others move from their root to their heart. Therefore, it doesn't help anyone find true heart love for yourself or another significant love relationship, only dysfunctional relationships, No boundaries and living in a PTSD type existence. We are only massaging our childhood wounds.
In the over 20 years as a Healer, you become a Master of Breathwork, opening the Kundalini, tapping, EFT, and Vibrational Therapy, but not "Heart-Centered healing". The heart centered healing center was a place we started only after 3 years of intense Shamanic Healing, SLAA, CODA, Multiple years of Landmark, and most importantly, the love of my life.
It was like tearing me apart, literally shredding me up until I could no longer stay the same if I truly wanted a heart centered love relationship, quitting a practice that gives you self-confidence, power and money. Stopping my work for three years and losing my soul, self-esteem and confidence. But coming to the other side recognizing my love of my life was really my Angel in disguise. Oh, so painful to find this place. New people calling can't understand my communication on the initial calls, or even old clients can't understand this. They knew my past work and only knew how to create a veil of gauze on their souls. My goal now is to continue healing, ascending, and find ways to show others that they can truly heal, not just rocking their kundalini into believing this is the only answer. Oneness comes from our hearts. Without this connection how can we find our true purpose in life?"
Perhaps as seekers on the path, upon discovering ones’ own energy, they may have started out with wanting to heal from a sexual trauma or growing up where others pursued them for the wrong reasons. And their initial desire was to learn to channel their chi, block others chi, release the chi stuck in their energy system or channel their own chi for positive results. But from the initial desire of healing a trauma, or wanting to learn about their energy, their focus shifted to pleasure. After the height and discovery that their energy practices lead to pleasure, or they found a Tantra Practitioner from early on, they then stayed stuck in tantra, kundalini rising practices such as sensual or tantra massage and didn't know how to go beyond this. This is where I come in. I have surpassed the fear of only giving to others what they expect or want and give them what their entire being needs. We may move to Breathwork for emotional release, channel inner child dialogue and healing, or heart opening practices such as heart opening medicine along with surrendering into the unknown. This is when the base practice of tantra healing shifts to soul healing of ones’ identity, pride, ego, and inner soul self. This is where the real work begins!
If you find yourself resonating with any part of this article, you may be one of the millions of people with a sexual imbalance, and a candidate for doing Ascension Tantra Healing work to raise the kundalini and open your heart. If you truly want to heal this pattern and find true love, lets schedule a call today and help you move to your dream relationship and have the love you’ve been waiting for your whole life!
What I would do to help you heal your heart, have and find true love, and release any anger or emotional pain in yourself, would be any of these modalities I’ve practiced and used in Session in the past, however, with the intention of healing at your core.
Some of these Modalities are:
Life Coaching with the emphasis of Sex Coaching, Intimacy Coaching and Relationship Coaching (Couples Coaching is also available, but you must come with your partner, Health Coaching if struggling with health challenges, Spiritual Coaching in your religious affiliation or a non-denomination focus and Family Coaching - for those in a relationship or wanting a relationship and have children or those seeking harmony with siblings, parents or other relatives).
Energy Healing Modalities such as: Igili, Usui/Shamballa/Kundalini/Tera-Mei Seichem or Lotus Light Reiki
DNA Activations such as Axiotonal Alignments or Frequency Balancing
IET for cleansing the auric field and energy/emotional body
EFT – my style of tapping for releasing patterns and emotions trapped in the body/this is great for anxiety, stress, any type of upset or trapped emotion that is keeping you stuck.
Emotional Release Acupressure mixed with a sort of Thai Massage, Shiatsu and holding palm positions with pressure to release stuck emotional energy in the body.
Guided Meditation Journeys
Chakra Healing and Guided Chakra Meditations
and
Private Yoga Sessions
During the pandemic, you will need a referral from another professional for in personal Sessions and zoom Sessions are available after Scheduled Consultation. Sessions must be scheduled at least 2 days in Advance.
Thank you for reading! Stay safe. Know that you are loved, and all the answers are right inside of you!